Conversion Torture: The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma and Erasing Identity

Conversion therapy has long been a controversial topic in the LGBTQIA community, in religious communities, in politics, and in culture. Calling it therapy is disingenuous — it is torture, make no mistake.

This month, we celebrated coming out day, but we have also remembered what hate can do as we commemorate Matthew Shephard, who was savagely beaten and tortured for his sexuality in 1998. Matthew would succumb to his injuries and spark a national debate about hate crimes, leading to landmark legal provisions. But where do children fit into advocacy and support?

State and Local Warriors

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A critical piece of legislation aiming to ban conversion torture is on the docket for consideration in Kentucky. Among other things, this bill would make the clear prohibition on the use of this as a therapy, allow for reprimand for licensed mental health providers, help ensure that cannot be relicensed in Kentucky and attempt to prevent children from being forced into traumatic “therapies” by their consenting parents. I had the pleasure of speaking with Daniel Beasley, the Lexington Regional Organizer for Ban Conversion Therapy Kentucky for an interview.

This exists in an ethical gray area. There is no law on the books against conversion torture. There are simply best practices and professional standards that indicate this is damaging. We would be among the first pro-LGBTQIA laws passed in the South and it would have huge ramifications. But this is a pro-life issue, at its core.

Other states have already championed the cause, but Kentucky is key in the fight for children because it represents a part of the country where it is already taboo to discuss sexuality and it is downright unacceptable to have a sexuality that is not heteronormative. You may not initially consider Kentucky a bastion of equality, but BCTK is making big moves in the bluegrass state with an unexpected ally. Beasley remarked on the importance of this alliance

Alice Forgy Kerr has championed this bill and it has honestly been a blessing, she is a strong voice and advocate

Kerr, a Republican senator from the 12th district, believes that the bill is truly an example of actual pro-life legislation in action. In addition to being a politician, Kerr is a leader and educator in the Baptist faith community. Kerr has noted that being pro-life, in part, is ensuring we protect our youth always, that we do not allow them to be subjected to torture, we do not damage them and we do not abuse them. Kerr believes that we are “perfect made”. Being pro-life does not stop after birth for Kerr and she has forged an allegiance with BCTK to make sure she continues to strive for the best protection for our youth.

The Numbers — Suicide and Risk

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Beasley went on to discuss the history of conversion torture and some alarming statistics. His focus was explaining that this practice is not condoned for licensed mental health professionals and yet it is still conducted. A scary margin of mental health professionals, whose duty it is to protect these vulnerable youth. Beasley points to a study conducted by UCLA

The number of reported interactions is likely not even a true reflection but what we know from a UCLA study is that 81% of people who have had conversion therapy received it from a religious leader, and 31% received it from a health care provider

It is important to note how profound the impact of this barbaric practice is on children with underdeveloped brains as they age and naturally explore their self-worth and identities. Backed by the UCLA study, Beasley states that LGBTQIA youth who experienced conversation torture have some disturbingly consistent statistics for suicide and attempts at self-harm.

92% greater odds of lifetime suicidal ideation
75% greater odds of planning to attempt suicide
88% greater odds of attempting suicide resulting in no or minor injury

You might be thinking “those numbers don’t add up to success in suicide, right?” Measuring someone’s stability and trauma responses by whether or not they were successful at ending their life is horrible. Imagine for a moment you endured, against your will at the behest of well-intentioned, albeit misinformed, religious parents’, torturous practices from the entity who was supposed to protect you in life — a therapist or, other trusted person. These fraudulent and costly practices are abysmal and individuals charged with protecting the vulnerable, the marginal, engage in a host of interventions that likely destroyed your sense of self-worth and lead directly to physical and emotional abuse.

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The Mental Illness Cycle and Cycles of Abuse

Another interesting statistic in the UCLA article circles around to a larger problem. Youth are more likely to be subjected to conversion torture if they live in the home with at least one caretaker that is mentally ill, abusive to them directly, or abusive to their other parent. Children endure horrors at home only to be sent to therapy or religious-based camps in order to correct their perceived deviant behavior, often with the misconception that this practice will redeem their souls.

The horror does not stop at home for these kids. The cycle of abuse continues, not in spite of, but in large part because of archaic practices children have endured in “reparative therapy.” Reparative therapy is the new, softer buzzword given to this persecution tactic. It sounds a little less “trying to transmute your soul into something we can live with” and a little more professional, aye?

After they survive their interventions, there is literally no evidence that children adapt their sexuality as adults. There is, however, evidence that they grow up to be depressed, anxious and suicidal. Further, youth who have endured conversion torture and rejection based on their sexuality are more likely to end up using illicit substances that can lead to overdose, addiction and medical complications to cope with the horrific abuse and emotional rejection.

For normal, well-adjusted, scientifically supported therapies, we simply back up and try a different path when a client is not seeing improvement. In conversion “therapy,” we just abandon the child into adulthood and keep praying they aren’t queer — an adulthood, by the way, that will statistically be littered with increased risk of not surviving your inevitable trauma responses.

Resources and Information

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Education can change the world. Educating parents, religious organizations and therapists can have a positive impact on youth. The suspension of long-held, unsupported interpretations of elements of faith might be difficult or seem impossible. But fundamentally, those who practice this torture are preying on parents who are trying to do what they feel is best for their children for a number of complex cultural and religious reasons. Othering these parents will not be an effective agent of change.

Information is readily available about conversion torture. Making this information available to providers, to leaders, to parents, and to children could be helpful in fighting back against this abuse and this is a large part of the message from BCTK. In the Commonwealth of Kentucky, BCTK is allied with services and legislators to protect children in the Bluegrass, joining 20 other states in the fight to preserve our youth. Their website highlights the important points and has plenty of factual talking points that you can use to ambassador safety for children.

For national organizers and information for your locality, you can also reach out to organizations like The Trevor Project and Born Perfect. There are several volunteer opportunities that you can assist with. Donations are also acceptable if you lack the time but have the means to support our nation’s LGBTQIA youth.

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Look where you can for opportunities to serve great causes. A buzzphrase these days is “save the children”. Do not forget the voiceless children who are a part of a smaller community unseen. America’s LGBTQIA youth is vulnerable and often left unprotected in circumstances of mental health and advocacy. Please consider reaching out to your local coalitions, legislators, religious leadership or seek information from national groups about how you can help.

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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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